Day Two

Frankly I thought I would get up this morning in pain, like feet pain. I didn't feel anything worse than normal so I chalked that up to a win! What I am noticing today is little twinges in my shins, never a good sign when you are going to up your mileage quick fast and in a hurry. My plan was every other day 3 to 4 miles on the last week up to 5 hopefully with long walks on the weekends, a 6 this week, 8 next week, and a 10 the week before the race. I figure I will stick to what someone told me when I was training for my first half... if you get through the 10 you won't give up on the last 3. Oddly I have used that on ever half I have done since, I never thought I had it until the last 3. (My marathon.. I didn't think I had that until the last half a mile!!!)

So what does day 2 look like around here? Not much really. Chances are I will be working tonight but if not I may go to Zumba just to throw in some cardio but my next walk will be tomorrow. So why am I posting? Well because this journey is not just about the miles. Those are the easy parts, even if they are painful. The rest of the journey is in the kitchen and the bar. I mention bar because I happen to have a very strong relationship with wine and vodka and quite frankly have no desire to break up with either, even though we have decided to take some time apart.

I know some of you know I have a very jacked up relationship with food. It's my friend. I happen to use it as a crutch, a reward, a consoler, a confidant, you name it I go to food. Tummy ache? Must be hungry. Sad? Sushi will fix that! Pissed off? Pizza for the win! See the pattern here? Well when you mix that way of thinking with situational depression with a side order of ptsd and a dash of bipolar disorder, you have a recipe for a fat disaster. Which is the boat I am in now. So what do you do when you use food as a safety net. I wish I knew the answer because it is a struggle. Some of the things you do are as follows:

• Contemplate weight loss surgery
• Vow to do better.. fail
• Contemplate being fat forever
• Vow to do better .. fail
• Contemplate weight loss surgery
• Eat one meal a day
• Eat 23 meals a day
• Contemplate being fat forever

So do you get the point? No answers have thus far been what I need. I am sure the solution is out there ... ok the solution actually has a name.. Jackwagon.  But the problem has a name too... Complicated Grief that kicks you in the gut and tells you that you aren't worth fighting for.

So day two what am I doing to get to my half goal in 23 days? Trying to stick to the plan in spite of a scale that hates me and getting up at the ass crack of dawn to put in 4 miles even though I work tonight (I thought that would happen).. That my friends is my day 2.

See below... leave a note let me know you were here. Support is the key to any journey!

Peace, Love, and Miles
Re

3/3/228